Editor’s Note: This week we welcome back an old friend now under the name Burnt Orange Hulk. BOH graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in advertising. He is currently making the world a better place. What the f*** are you doing?
As we approach the last week of the regular season, enjoy his breakdown of #2 Kansas and join us in hoping to see more insightful, if angry, commentary from one of our favorite Texas Exes.
The Kansas football team makes the grade on the field the same way every great football team does in the classroom - with a high school caliber schedule. Taking a look at the teams Kansas steamrolled on its way to the top, you’ll find 75 losses. Multiply that by 1 Div - IAA, 2 MAC’s and a Sun Belt and you have a recipe for hype. Kansas must have hired a great resume writer because they are essentially a community college GPA padder being considered for an executive position. We’ll see if they can write a decent cover letter on Saturday against Missouri. If it’s impressive, they’ll get the final interview against the leader of the Big XII South. Assuming Kansas can sweet talk its way into the corner office, an Ivy League graduate will be waiting to show off the fruits of an expensive education… in his own backyard. Don’t expect this one to end like Pursuit of Happiness. The Rubik’s Cube might be difficult, but it doesn’t hit back.
Giving credit where credit is due - Mangino is a fantastic coach. He orchestrated an Oklahoma offense in 2000 that made a statement against Texas and went on to crush everything in its path. At the time, coaches snubbed Quentin Griffin before he strolled through the Texas D-line on his way to a game winning touchdown against Florida State for the National Title. This year the Big XII passed on another Texas player under Mangino’s enormous belt, who’s been passing on them ever since. As a resident of the Lake Travis area, my family enjoyed watching Reesing throw in high school. He’s a stellar athlete who learned from an incredible coach. Scouts - take notes from Mangino because the best from Lake Travis has yet to come. While Kansas’s schedule is weaker than Mangino’s metabolism, he sweats out every ounce of performance his players have to offer and that’s the sign of a great coach.
Florida International - Well, they’re perfect at losing coming in at 10 and counting, allowing 395 points. Don’t give up yet, Kansas is just getting started.
Central Michigan - A more respectable record with 5 losses, but wins only over teams with roughly 8 losses. I wouldn’t go reaching for the Gatorade cooler.
SE Louisiana - Stumbling to 8 losses, barely beating a winless S F Austin, and allowing 45 points against 7 loss Div I-A Texas State.
Toledo - They carry 6 losses and have allowed 433 points to date.
Kansas State - A squeaker win for KU against a 6 loss team that lost to the worst of the Big XII. Yes, they beat Texas in a freak show of Texas turnovers and return fiesta, but accomplished nothing more. Not to mention they allowed the train-wreck that is Nebraska to put up 73 points.
Baylor- 9 losses, allowed 444 points, Coach fired. We really don’t need to get more in depth than that.
Colorado - Another squeaker against a 6 loss team with its only legit win coming over OU. And OU sucks! (Ahem… TECH.)
aTm - 5 losses with wins over a pathetic schedule of certified losers who scrape the bottom of the barrel for opponents. Coach soon to be fired.
Nebraska - Don’t even call this experiment by the name Nebraska. Nebraska is a team I love to fear and share a cold one with. This thing I call Nebifornia has 6 losses and no resemblance of Nebraska football. Luckily for Callahan, the fans in that stadium are too classy to boo him off the field every week. The 76 points Kansas put up was impressive, but Nebifornia seems to have abandoned the concept of defense. Coach soon to be fired.
Oklahoma State - Maybe the only quality win for the Jayhawks all season. A team with the most respectable, 5 loss, schedule. OSU is an inconsistent team with scattered talent that has a historical inability to finish games versus anyone besides OU (and they’re going to beat OU)! Coach Gundy, I don’t give a damn how old you are. I’m 26, and I’m talking shit about your team!
Iowa State - What can we say about this 9 loss Baylor of the Big XII North? Well, they opened the season by falling to 8 loss Kent State. Even the Texas offense, in its struggle to establish a post-Vince game plan, kicked this team around like a rusty can in the gutter.
Missouri - Consistent offense and highly capable defense. They stifled high flying Tech, and kept it interesting against a healthy OU. If Kansas can take down the Tigers, not to mention convincingly, I will be impressed. This is definitely the match up I didn’t expect to stay awake through.
The Key Question: Is Kansas a vastly improved football team emerging from the shadow of the basketball stadium, which deserves kudos from a conference full of teams that haven’t pulled their own weight in recent years? YES. Is Kansas the number 2 team in the nation? NO.